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| Looking at the mirror he was just not sure of the rollkneck sweater |
- People are over-challenged and panicking. Response: attack!
- People are under-challenged and bored. Response: attack!
- People are responding to being attacked (now or in the past).
Perhaps each of these is allowed to continue because of a lack of leadership. I know many leaders who become demotivated and dissaffected by constant competitive arguing among senior colleagues.
Bored professionals creating and becoming absorbed by arguments and personal drama! That's one way to up the level of personal challenge!
Perhaps it's not the source though. Perhaps I am being too cynical.
Over the years I have begun also to realise that when I am helping organisations that don't have argument issues, the rows are still there. They are just inside the head of the MD, rather like the character quoted at the top of this blog. No-one to argue with? Argue with yourself!
If you recognise this kind of internal dialogue inside yourself you are recognising my point too.
As a coach I have learned to treat statements about "parts" seriously and found it to be a very useful approach. What I mean is: treat it as real evidence about how the client works on the inside.
Professor Robert Winston's "The Human Mind" surveys fascinating material on multiple personality, revealing it is within all of us not just those with psychosis! Epilepsy sufferers, are sometimes treated by having the connection between the two halves of the brain severed, to prevent the fit spreading. Careful experiments afterwards found completely different personality expressions living in each part of the brain. Each part would give a different answer to a series of questions and be oblivious to the answers given by the other half. For example, one part wanted to be a pilot, the other a lawyer! Read up on alien hand syndrome - genuine problem not just an Michael Caine horror movie!
If you are interested to follow through on coaching resources, I recommend Virginia Satir. You can find some great stuff from her on YouTube and plenty of literature.
The coaching point is to realise that this is indeed true and these "parts" are genuine, fully thought out, different attitudes or personalities. Just like an argument with two different directors, fully understanding the purpose and source of each internal "Part's" opinion is a good way to start trying to resolve the differences. You may find this a little hard to believe, but just think back to the last time you were truly stuck on a decision. You will probably find, there were two (at least) opposing forces slugging it out inside you, leaving you unable to move forwards.
So, what's my point? Where there is lasting disagreement there is energy being wasted, and the organisation will be prevented from achieving its full potential. Disagreement on strategy among leadership is particularly damaging.
The same is true for the individual. Internal debate can be useful, but more often it is debilitating and demotivating, and gets in the way of both personal success and happiness.
I look out for incongruence like this and help get it resolved.
Resolution usually leads to an improvement in organisation and personal performance, and the chances of success rise.
If not a game of two halves, it is a game of at least two Parts! The real messages here to business leaders reading this:
- Check your arguments. Are those with others because you are anxious or bored (or attacked by someone who is?)
- Check on the inside next. Are your arguments still going on? If this is true for you, it is also true for your team and perhaps it is worth working on your self-knowledge as much as you work on understanding your team.
