Lasting Happiness

The pursuit of happiness may not, for some, be an obvious focus of a business blog.  After all, the psychologists often refer to the constant lack of happiness and satisfaction as being a characteristic driving force of entrepreneurial spirits.  Equally, entrepreneurs are not known for failing to commit to an idea.  Indeed they often commit so well that their failures are legion and titanic.  Their chances of significance through action despite fears (see my previous post "insignificant") are rarely hindered.

Optimists outsell by 20+ times

For me, though, there is something powerful to learn from some of the traits of happiness.  You only need to read a bit of the research on it to realise that working on happiness can create resilience, enthusiasm, motivation; all great characteristics for the hard knocks world of business.  Dr Martin Seligman, psychologist and leader of the positive psychology approach, also points to the wellness benefits of lasting happiness.  I think it goes like this; just because you are relatively happy does not mean you will live longer, but on average happier people appear to lead longer lives.  There appears to be a strong impact of a positive mental state on health.  Shocker!


We all seek happiness for our clients.  We help them move away from problems, we help them gain advantage, we work hard to ensure they love the service and if it goes wrong deal with complaints positively and quickly.  Intuitively we work for the happiness of our clients.   The same advantages must therefore accrue to ourselves.  Another persuader about giving the present happiness debate serious consideration is this:  unless you know how to be happy, how can you truly bring happiness to those around you: clients, team, family and friends?  And why should any group be treated differently?


Seligman gives some great guidance in his book "Authentic Happiness", and on the linked website www.authentichappiness.com, on how to work on personal happiness, and unless you are ranking yourself right up there at a 10 as you read my note, its certainly worth having a look at this.

Here are some of my favourite personal tips:

1. Use dreaming to find your happiness cuesRemembering times when you were at your most happy can give you important clues specifically as to what it is that makes you happiest.  
2. Power and actionRange of freedom to act is relative, some have more, some less.  All of us have some range, but not all care to believe so or to use it.  Take your power, such as it is, and like Andy in "Shawshank Redemption": become proactive in your own interests.
3. Authenticity
   This is the last thing some of you will think of for happiness.  "What?  Be the real me?  You are joking!"  Fair enough.  We all have capacity to learn and grow.  What I mean here is that if you spend most of your time doing things that are not the real you, running a life that doesn't suit you, that very difference will be a strain.  Returning to the real you as much as you can, will raise your happiness levels.
4. Accept yourself
   Kind of related to 3 but not the same, this point is about acceptance and is very tough but thoroughly cathartic.  You are who and what you are and you are doing your best given your knowledge and circumstances.  You always have!  Sure you can learn, and you are learning.  Accept your past, your failures and successes, your physical and mental shape and STOP judging yourself so harshly.  Think of all the things you are unhappy about with yourself.  What a great deal of energy you spend on these.  Let go of them, and give yourself a break!  It won't stop you striving but it will allow you to choose to improve (or not) rather than it being an obligation.
5. Nurture your hopefulness
   This final thought is fundamentally connected to the idea of freedom of action, because hopefulness is such an enabling state of mind.  Hopefulness allows possibility.  Possibility creates motivation.  Motivation can lead to action.  Action creates outcomes.  Action is possibility into creation.  As you create, your freedom of action is increased.

I hope you find these interesting to ponder.  A little more detail on the dreaming point.  Here's how to do it as an end note to my blog.

Dreaming to find your happiness cues

Happiness is a surprising state.  Sometimes it sneaks up on us unexpectedly and we suddenly realise, "Wow, I had a great time today."  Then back to normal life!  


Pick three occasions like this and dream yourself back into them fully.  Go right back in your mind, and re-experience the whole thing; the colours, the people, the smells, the energy.  For each one, when you are done, write down (use a mindmap!) all the features you can recall and compare each statement.  Look for the common features.  Then check: are these normally present when you are at your happiest?  With luck you've found 3 or 4 attributes you are exhibiting, people or experiences that are present for you that are key to your personal happy state, and to look for and use in the future.


I'd love to hear some feedback on this rather creative and intuitive coaching tool.  When you have them it is simple enough to run through a mental checklist of other happier times and see if these items were also present.  If you can do it, it is now a matter of your choice as to whether you incorporate them (at least to some degree) other walks of your life.  Try it.  If it works even a little for you you will be encouraged to do it more and everyone you influence will benefit from your renewed and enriched contentment.